Digiphage II – Coffee Button

AJ: Again, I can’t remember when or where.  Typical example of what I see the character doing though.  I imagine them between work/jobs, just seeing what can be done when you’re out and about.  It matches up to things like the Piratebox on my other blog though, what could go on in the digital world of today, where everyone is wired in and obsessed with their devices.

OK, so I’m here, ready for battle.

Secondary phone, no incoming calls.
4G USB 3.0, anonymous, pay as you hack.
5G USB, stolen, not yet nixed.
Netbook, wifi, penetration tools on hardware encrypted disk, auto destruct if you screw up the passkey more than twice. Backup thumbnail encrypted USB, swallow if caught, name, serial number, FYI.
Oyster Card, traded off a junkie for jailbreaking his iphone and setting up the latest PGP.
Small black box, three buttons, two LEDs, and a teeny tiny LCD display.

Um, hang on; What?

Nope, I don’t remember that one.
Press the first button, and there’s a capacitance whine, which lasts for a second before my hearing gives up and i have to stretch my jaw to reset my right eardrum. Press the second button. Nothing.

Another second, and the data point on the other side of the cafe suddenly crackles like when you plug the mains cable into a power pack too gently, and suddenly there’s smoke and the unreals are left tapping the refresh as if enough of them do it then the internet will come and give them a hug and ten megs a second again. No such fucking hope.

But I don’t remember that box.

Shit, I still dont remember that box, where the FUCK did I get that?

Ooh dear.

That could be bad. Although I look at the dick with the oversized corporate demo laptop and snigger as he gives up and resorts to the corporate 3g, with the corporate encryption, and the corporate Virtual network, and the corporate porn.

A sterner faced unreal gets up, he’s got a e-fraud badge on his belt, what the fuck’s he gonna do, tell us all to “Stay Calm”? No, he’s just on his way to the nearest coffee conflict survivor so he can keep his monitor deck connected.

Ahhh, yes well. It suddenly occurrs to me, an e-fraud piggy might be first up against the wall when a router goes down just in case it was a mis-fire of his EMP, nice move Einstein.

The unreals are getting angry, I wonder how long it’ll take for this place to empty. But lo! The barista has a cheap and dirty router on the countertop, I wonder if they’ve had something like this happen before, but they unreals wont like it, it looks like an “b” grade net at best, must be a few years old, their video conferencing will be at ultra-lag, with reactions coming ten minutes after the joke was cracked. Watching the simpering idiots desperately trying to cram twenty four different expressions into one, just in case it’s the right reaction to what the boss said twenty four seconds ago in realtime, while game time is still catching up. Although it doesn’t matter for the hormonally disadvantaged, their botoxwelloxed faces havent been capable of expression for as long as it’s taken them to get here from their personal aesthetic apprentice, who can’t tell a frownless forehead from a stroke victim.

Older router, older security. Heh heh.

I wonder what this other button does?

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